September 17, 2007

family (=) crap

Boy, oh Boy! I have so much to say and yet don't want to seem like I'm writing a book! Oh yeah, I am LOL!

Ok first off - Kristy (my SIL) stopped calling. She had been calling quite a bit complaining and complaining about Harvey (my brother). She kept going on and on about how she was going to leave him, thought he was cheating on her, blah, blah, blah.

No this didn't bother me - the two of them don't need to be together at ALL! It's not good for either one of them - if you look from one perspective or the other's. And this is what I do when anyone asks me my opinion, look for what is best for THEM - not what I want to happen or what is best for the kids, other person etc. And those two do it frequently I'm used to it LOL!

So anyway, she calls on the 6th (?) and says - hey have you heard from Harvey?
and I say - NO?!?! (he hardly ever talks to me on the phone!)
she says - well I thought he might call you since we got into it earlier today and he took off. He also went and picked up his check.
I say - oh well! let him go then!
her answer - well I need to know if he's planning on coming back cause if he ain't then I need to call my grandma so she can come get me.
I say - why?
she says - cause I can't pay rent by myself and I'll have no car, plus they said they'd help me if I need it. (yeah, right! her family NEVER helps when it comes to her staying with them, not even when she was a teen!)
I politely say - OH, OK *rolling my eyes*.
she says - if you hear from him tell him to call or at least tell you what he's doing.
I say - YEAH! I'm pretty sure I'm the last person he'll call!
she says - well I figured he'd come down there where your guys' family can help him out (*rolling eyes yet again, think they'll stick? LOL!)
I say ok I will and we hang up.

No phone calls since then. NOTHING.

And I'm not calling there. I've adopted a policy with my family - if they don't call when I think they was going to I don't bother with calling them. Not because I'm a diva and think everything should revolve around me but because I've made to many phone calls that were either unanswered, answered with hatefulness, or I've interrupted something I'd rather not know about. So best policy is to not bother - why continually run your head against a wall?? But all of them know that this is how I handle things so when they don't call when they know I'm waiting and later they "find time to" they feel too guilty to do it. They all assume I'm going to be too pissy. The few times they have tried I've been nothing but nice - oh well!

I have a very messed up family and family relationships. You'd think I was all of their mothers or grandmothers - but nope not so. And believe me I don't like this role - I would really like just to be a daughter, sister, cousin, sister in law, aunt, etc.

And yes it gets worse & deeper than that! Just in the past week!


Also it was #1's 14th birthday on Saturday. And the guitar I ordered on eBay didn't show up in time =( I thought I ordered it early enough and I probably did - but I forgot to specify what color I wanted! (black, btw) And since I spent more than usual for the guitar I could justify going and buying another present. He's a good kid though and a look at it online was good enough he said =) He knows it's on it's way. Now if I can get him away from the door LOL!

But with a 14th birthday of a child from a split home everyone who's dealt with child custody issues knows this is the monumental birthday. The big one. The one that makes them old enough to say in court who they want to live with and the judge has to take it into consideration. (maybe this is only in Illinois? not sure?) So in preparation of this with everyone we already have been saying this since last year.

A little background - Darkside was married @ 16 to THE EX after they had #1. Before a year was up they were split up - not divorced though. THE EX already had a new bf. This new bf of THE EX was physically abusing #1 - down the road not instantly. So after THE EX wouldn't take care of the problem Darkside seen no other course of action besides calling child protective services and report it. This caused lots of problems for many years which involved the courts - ALOT. In 1995 Darkside filed for divorce. To save on attorney fees he was very agreeable with THE EX and the child custody issues. This was a big mistake! Through this big mess and with time, Darkside was awarded full guardianship of #1 but he is a ward of the court till he's 18 years old. So this means anytime she can get anyone to listen to her cry and whine then we'll be back in court. THE EX has not had #1 with her for longer than 7 days EVER. But she don't want Darkside to have him either **HUH?!** She's took off for YEARS and not tried to get ahold of us. Last time THE EX was around she was halfway decent though - best attitude she's EVER had!

So even though we was just saying how THE EX would try to call Darkside's dad - this point on called the old man (he's her steady contact with us cause he NEVER moves and we do) - when she calls him on Saturday what does he do? Answer it and listen to her sappy story!

For some reason the old man believes ANYTHING she says - always has probably always will. There's no reason for it either! THE EX really is someone who needs alot of work done mentally.

So the old man calls here and says - guess who called today?
Darkside said - THE EX, told ya she would!
he said - oh why's that? **he's going to be 60 this year I think his mind is going**
Darkside says - cause remember I told you she would it's #1's birthday and he's 14 this year.
he said - well she called and was really upset and wants to talk to #1, why don't you ask him to call her it IS his birthday.
Darkside says - yeah ok, I'll ask later **WTF?! this should have been an instant NO!**
the old man says - she's all upset cause of her ex and she don't get to see the other kids, blah, blah, blah, her, her, her, the other kids, her ex, on and on
Darkside is polite saying yeah, what did she expect, blah, blah, puke, etc.
Darkside then says - sounds to me like all she wanted to do is talk about her
the old man says - NO she said she wanted to talk to him and wish him a happy birthday!
Darkside says - that's not talking about him!
~~by this time I finally get a chance to say something because unlike any other time I'm not getting let in on the conversation. Cause Darkside knew I was going to say something pissy/catty and he didn't want to be in the middle of it - COWARD!!~~
so I say - what did THE EX call?
Darkside nods yea
so I say - well we knew it!
Darkside nods yea ~~can you tell they are still trying to ignore me? HA! FAT chance little man!
so I say - yea all of the sudden she wants to say happy birthday - not the other 11 years!
the old man asks what?
Darkside says - yea she only called for his birthday in 2004 and 2005 none of the other ones!
~~not even his first birthday! not a phone call nothing!! I know cause I was there, I helped make the cake and I was only a family friend then!~~
the old man says - well she was really upset and it's up to #1 ~~like HELL! but whatever!~~
and I say - what she wants is to talk to #1 so she can tell him how much she loves him and how much STUFF she's bought to bribe him and then she'll take us to court, which we can't afford! Cause everyone know she's his mom and he'll always love her.
~~somewhere after me saying mom the old man says to Darkside I gotta go, I'll call back later, or whatever is said cause Darkside is probably lying and hangs up~~

What an ASS! I'm not sure if he's just an ass or a dumb ass! I was fuming all day! Hang up in the middle of me talking - WTF EVER!! I would NEVER do something like that to him! How rude!

I REFUSE to have anything more to do with him! He for some reason see me as everyone else does the mean "new wife/stepmom".

This on it's own isn't that big of a deal but he is our monetary back up. If something major happens and we need extra money he usually helps. He also helps from week to week when we can't stretch Darkside's paycheck anymore. So this is a REALLY big deal. But I refuse to give in on this - not even one inch!

stay tuned cause I'm sure everything will go to shit soon LOL!


well that's all I can type about now - this is a bunch and I'm only about half way done!


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