December 8, 2007

female problems

Well after my appt. I was a little depressed. If you don't want to read about female problems don't read any further!


I was going to the dr cause of not having "my visitor" (here out labeled "mv") for the last 3 months. No I am NOT pregnant - believe me I've tested! But I have PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome), have had for years, but it's never been quite this bad though.

So I went to the dr and they do a yearly - OH YEA! - and she proceeds to tell me afterwards - "Anne there's not a whole lot we can do, we're already doing what we can here. You really need to lose some weight and we'll get a ultrasound ordered up for you now so we can see how things are doing inside. But if that's looking ok then you may need to face the fact that your ovaries are just too filled with cysts." So I say ok, but what do you mean too filled? Like it's too late - without a MAJOR body size change? and she says "well yea, but don't worry we'll also send you to a gyn/ob or a fertility specialist to get an idea of what they think too"

Ummm.........ok. Thanks so much for a mood lifter - NOT!

So I've already known that I won't be having 13 kids by 40. (not do it and stay healthy!) That's ok I can handle that - not what I "wanted" for my life but who can really call that?

But NO MORE BABIES!!! That I don't think I can handle! AT ALL!

I know I at least want one more - well I shouldn't say that - I at least want 13 by 40 but........ if I only had one more that would be fine. If I have 3 more that's ok too! I'm not a stickler on details just an rough idea - lots of kids! I only picked 12 when I was young because -

  1. I was 12 when I decided this
  2. when I said it to adults it shocked them
  3. all the good stuff comes in a dozen - ya know FOOD! - eggs, donuts, cookies ....
I changed that number to 13 when I started going out with Darkside. He had #1 so once I knew we were going to be together forever then I instantly changed the number to 13.

So...... this morning I had my appt for my ultrasound. Got to bed somewhat early last night, bathed and all that but we had bad weather yesterday and last night so.... I knew it was a big chance of whether or not I was even going to be able to make it out of the house (I hate wintery roads!). So I get up this morning and go to do morning duties (ya know!) and low and behold "mv" came!

I had to look twice I was so shocked!! 3 months of no "mv" and today of all days! OH THE IRONY!

So I called and re-scheduled it for next week.

And now I'm back to waiting.

with "mv".

Now don't get me wrong, I AM one of those weird women who actually like their "mv" so I'm happy (jubilant, ecstatic, all but shouting it to the world!) but why right now?

so I wonder is it a sign?

probably not.....

but I can hope, pray, and dream!

ok gotta go to bed been a very long day.

ps - sorry for all the details but I feel better now =)

No comments: