September 13, 2008

my mafia family

You know what? I am continually shocked at the treatment of people by those they are close to.

Also how so many people use time apart as a reason to not be polite. You know - I haven't seen you in years so why should I care if I offend you -by say- talking bad about your favorite football team? Well, DUH!

I have already went through and overcome the shock at how friends treat one another, new or old. It still baffles me and leaves me pondering - Is this the way things are for everyone? Or is it just me seeing the worst relationships around? I read many books where these problems don't happen to other adults. You also don't see these types of things in movies or TV often.

And I have seen how family can be just WRONG for no apparent reason. But I never thought that family would act as if time apart was a reason to not be decent. You know common sense decent. Especially my family!

But I should probably explain that most of my family has a mafia style of relationships. No I don't mean like real mafia (I don't even know about that!) but like what you imagine the mafia is. You know one head honcho who dictates to the underlings and they in turn dictate to their underlings -- that kind of thing. Yep that's my family!

So in my family here's how it works -
  1. don't EVER say anything about the head honcho unless your positive that the person your telling can be trusted under extreme pressure
  2. don't say anything bad about the 2nd tier of hierarchy to the head honcho -- this will result in an immediate dress down by the head honcho
  3. don't say anything bad about the 2nd tier to another 2nd tier -- this will result in an long drawn out conversation about all the "good" points of the gossiped about person
  4. don't interrupt while the head honcho is saying something bad about someone in the 2nd tier -- there is NOOO WAY you could know more than the head honcho about them!
  5. don't say anything bad about the 3rd tier to the head honcho -- this will result in a quick explanation of why said person is the way they are
  6. don't interrupt while the head honcho is saying something bad about someone in the 3rd tier, unless your willing to back it up for the rest of your life
  7. don't say anything bad about someone in the 3rd tier to someone in the 2nd tier -- exceptions are: months that end in y and every leap year, sometimes every even year too (being sarcastic here!)
  8. don't say anything bad about someone in the 3rd tier to someone else in the 3rd tier unless you want to hear about the 25 reasons why they think said person is even WORSE than you do
  9. don't say anything bad about someone in the 4th tier unless you want to hear about how it's not really their fault it's really cause the 3rd tier person above them screwed up
  10. and there are so few 5th tiers but just in those few cases -- don't say nothing bad about them because no one will even listen --- they don't count yet!
do I have you confused yet? Hell I almost got confused and it's me writing and my family!

what it breaks down to though is that people are not right. they aren't right in the ways they treat people -or- the ways they let people treat them.

it's sad to think that I don't want my kids to have even 1 of the same types of relationships that I have. cause the people are ok -- but they just ain't right -- and if their not right then what's the point?

back to square one.



I really thought that adult life would be different than this. But I guess adult life is alot harder than I was thinking.


Who would of thought that your only requirements of the people your around, be -
  • common sense
  • honesty
  • common sense
  • compassion
  • common sense
  • thoughtfulness
  • common sense
  • common sense
  • common sense
later...

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