November 18, 2008

family (=) crap

Well that didn't last long! I just could not do it.

~~~~~~~~LONG RANT TO FOLLOW!~~~~~~~~

I'm pretty sure Mr. & Mrs. Smith was up to something. While talking to Mrs. Smith on the phone about 2 days after they left she let me know they found an apartment. GREAT! I say. I figured they'd be coming back to get the kids -- NOPE! They were going to wait till she got her 1st check, which was 1 day AFTER Thanksgiving! And then she was adamant to say that they would definitely be here then but wasn't sure what they would do because the landlord wouldn't let them in until the 1st of Dec. WHAT?!?! that's the whole reason I had their children so they wouldn't be sleeping in the car, so they was going to come get them and sleep in the car still?!

And she added that she wasn't positive they would have enough money to rent it -- then why didn't they ask family or local organizations to help, they are homeless after all. That's when she said oh, the landlord won't accept any pledges of help from local organizations, only actual checks. Um, ok.

See this was 1 apartment choice out of about 5 that were listed. Why not try for a different one?

Then she told me about the place -- boy, oh boy! The rent is about $100 MORE than the place they just got evicted from and about 17 miles from both their jobs (1 works to the north, 1 to the south). They have 3 children full time and 2 children on weekend visits --- but went with a 1 bedroom apartment! It's upstairs above the landlord's business -- their kids are very young and run & jump way too much for that to work.

Oh and the two points that had me laughing? NO SMOKING & NO PETS! They currently have like 1 cat and her 5 kittens -- they refuse to get rid of all the cats. They say they'll keep one of the kittens and just sneak it in --- whatever! Both Mr & Mrs Smith smoke cigarettes among other things too --- how long do you think that'll last? The landlords are probably allergic hence the requirements and notice right off.

Oh and when they dropped their children off we agreed that they would mail me their food stamp card so I could be repaid for the food I was using to feed their kids. She kept saying that $150 would be all I needed because that was all they used each month for their whole family --- REALLY!?! Are you serious? She said yes -- OMG! They get over $600 a month, $375 of it is for those kids. (I won't be getting this now!)

While they were here - 7 days - it cost me $55 dollars to feed just those 3 kids. Yes I am crazy and kept a tab - can't help it! I wanted to see if I could possibly feed them for as cheap as she did. And let me tell you it's impossible! Although it only cost $55 dollars, I clipped alot of coupons, shopped sales, and really scrimped for that price! (it was mostly stuff out of my pantry) It probably really cost around $100+ if I hadn't done that. (oh and side note - she doesn't use coupons or shop sales, her quote? how's a couple of cents gonna really save much. REALLY?!?! OMG!)

Can you guess where the rest of their food stamps went each month? Probably not to be used like I talked about here, more than likely something recreational - I say that loosely!

Something else I noticed after a couple of days was that when she wrote out the medical release paper - fancy name for a piece of paper that she quickly wrote up saying I can take them to the ER if necessary - Mrs. Smith didn't write a date on it. Not a start date or END date!

All of that grated on my nerves and got me thinking --- was they ever coming back?

Plus the main problem was those children were used to going to bed at 6:30 PM (yes I wrote that correctly!) and getting up at 6-7 AM. That was just too different from our schedule. We go to bed late - starting at about 10 PM or so and get up around 9 AM or so. And I usually don't get up till much later than that! But our kids do fine on their own and know how to not mess in things. I KNEW not to try that with these kids! So bright and early every morning I was getting up at 7 AM --- after going to bed at 3, 4, or 5 AM -- UGH! This is what was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Sleep deprivation can make ANYONE an ugly beast!

Especially when it came time for the little things that I tried to keep the same so when these children went home they wouldn't be screwed up. Like the forced naps that they are used to. You know - they take them everyday but yet they don't want too? Nap time got old FAST! Or how about refusing to eat food that is perfectly fine, everyone else is eating, and they normally like.

So Sunday morning at 6 AM as I lay in bed trying to sleep for the 3rd time in 24 hours and one of them started to cry in the other room (because they cry to go to sleep and cry to wake up) and I thought they were waking up --- I lost it. I went off into the deep end. I started to cry and gave up. Turns out they weren't waking up and I even got about an hour of sleep but I'd already made up my mind -- they had to go back to their parents.

So after I got up at 7 AM I called their grandma to tell her I was bringing the kids there till they could come get them. It had been 5 days and I had a total of about 20 hours of sleep -- I was about 15 hours short of sleep. So when their grandma said what? you can't bring them here! I told her in exact words -- I am going to tell their parents to go get them, I AM dropping them off with you with $30 for gas so SOMEONE can get them to their parents -- they are not my kids and I am washing my hands of this whole situation.

She must of heard it in my voice, I had lost it. She said "oh hun it's ok, just bring them here and we'll figure out how to get them back to Mr. & Mrs. Smith". I said I know you will -- because it's not my problem, I was HOT!

So later I told Mr. & Mrs. Smith later on the phone. Mrs. Smith, after telling me she'd have to call me back to let me know what they was going to do (WHAT?), had the audacity to tell me well it'll have to wait till she could get up there. It was her day off! So I called the grandma back and she said that she was off on Tuesday so could I wait till then to bring them and she would make sure that Mr. and Mrs. Smith WOULD come get them or she'd just keep them with her. Mrs. Smith don't like the grandma too much so we knew she'd be on her toes to get the kids LOL!

Mrs. Smith called later that night while I was napping and Darkside talked to her. She told him to make sure we got all the kids clothes together because that's all they had (1/2 black bag!!) and he said of course we will! We'll also pack up the toys & clothes we bought for them and bring them too -- he was trying to ease her mind cause the kids didn't have much -- she said to him EXACTLY -- "well I don't care about that, just make sure all the clothes I sent are brought back." WHAT?!?! How f-ing rude is that?

After that I refused to talk to Mrs. Smith and instead dealt only with the grandma. Do you know that Mrs. Smith had the nerve to call Monday night and left on my voice mail a message saying she was just checking to make sure I was going to be bringing the kids to the grandmas house on Tuesday. Really is she that stupid? I was ready to send them on Sunday!

Let me tell you, I didn't send anything except what I had already promised to those kids - not one thing extra. Especially not the rest of the $12 pull ups I bought the day they came for the youngest one to use at night. Did you know when Mr. & Mrs. Smith went to gas up and leave here went and bought a fountain soda & beer to drink on the drive home -- why couldn't they ask me for a soda and leave that money for pull-ups? UGH! I plan to donate the extra pull-ups to the local preschool.

This stupid idea of being nice cost me -
  • $175 - Darkside missed 2 days of work
  • $40 - gas
  • $12 - pull-ups
  • $55 - food
  • $8 -- muzzle so the dog wouldn't bite those kids
  • $2 -- replacing all my labels on food storage containers that those kids ripped off
  • $2 -- laundry
  • $2 -- cleaning the mattress that the kid in pull-ups still peed on
  • $10 - bribes so I could sleep in till 9 AM on Monday
  • $$$ - lost time, sleep, school work, house work, and organization
I should of just handed them the $300+ and said go on! Because either way I don't believe they cared.

It took Darkside & the Kaos King 10 hours of driving to take those children to their grandma's house. Darkside said - "never again! I'll move to my dad's if you ever do this again!" Sorry honey I thought I was doing a good deed.

Just goes to show you that charity should be given to those who truly deserve it and by those who deal with this everyday! I used to be SO against local organizations because it always seemed they helped the wrong ones while letting the right ones suffer. They probably have a hard time telling which is which, cause I do!

Please let this be a reminder of why I shouldn't try to help others directly! indirect Anne, indirect!


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