July 22, 2010

mad as a hatter!!

It seems like every time I turn around there is crap going on that makes me mad! maybe I need a pill?!

Today since I need to pick up #3 from camp I had to take Darkside to work so I can use the car since the truck is out of gas. So I go and get a few things done while out -- why not it's so LOVELY out, right? LOL!

Mind you I've not left the house during the day for like a week.

I get back and I have this on my door --

ummmmm...................ok? this pisses me off but I figure maybe I got the wrong date down for when it's due, done that before - ya know =) Here's my bill --

It's not even due till tomorrow!!! Oh yes I was MAD! 

So I call and let them know - their answer? The lady who filled them out today said her paper said it was due the 21st -- although the computer shows the 23rd. She's not sure what happened. WHAT??!! I let her know that I was mad -- not at her, but at what had happened and that I thought she ought to say something to the "bosses" because this was UNCALLED for!

Now all my new neighbors think I don't pay my bills -- GREAT! Such a great way to start out -- even if I don't plan on staying here. And it's not like I can go outside and talk to each one of them and explain it to them. Heck, I can't even put up a sign to say that they did it wrong cause it's against policy here!

I think I'm gonna start a countdown to when we leave --- think it's too early? LOL!

And like Darkside tells me all the time --- you wanted to come back here! you MISSED it! HA!


July 21, 2010

kitchen appliances

A blog I read all the time is doing a great contest from now till Sunday (7-25) and if your comment gets picked you win! The blog is Good Cheap Eats and this is the post. The prize is a Kenmore portable, single burner induction cooker. Sounds fancy but really it's mainly just a single plug-in burner from what I can see LOL!

Well here's what my comment was -
Well the appliance our house can't live without is our electric tea kettle. We use that thing about 3 times a day/ 365 days a year. We always have an extra one on hand - just in case LOL!
But I had more I wanted to say (go figure!). So here it is =)

But the two appliances I love the most are my electric skillet & food processor. I go through food processors like crazy cause I use them for EVERYTHING and always somehow break the grating attachment. The electric skillet is a life saver though because with it I can once again cook for my family.

About a year and a half ago my back started giving me so many problems that I found it hard to stay standing at the stove for more than about 2 mins. I think one of the many times I slipped on the ice up in Iowa Falls must of pulled something out of whack. It's still just as bad if not worse.

yes I plan to go to the dr for it again someday - but I don't hold out much hope for them to fix it since Darkside still sits in pain everyday and nothing has been done to fix his and he's been to plenty of drs & physical therapists. I went once back in January and she gave me a pill that didn't help at all -- in fact it counteracted against my blood pressure pill and I got TERRIBLE leg cramps. I'm going to find a new dr - then try again.

But with the electric skillet I can sit at the table and cook which is GREAT! I love to cook and so not being able to sucked badly. Especially when your trying to tell a teenager how to do it and they don't listen to you and do it all wrong!

Actually the electric skillet came in handy a couple months ago when we moved into a rental house and it didn't include appliances and we had no gas stove (only option). With an electric skillet all cooking is possible, believe me I've done it LOL!

I've actually tried quite a few different electric cooking appliances in the past year - some I've kept and some I've gave to Salvation Army.
  • George Forman grill - not worth it
  • electric tea kettle - worth it if you like hot tea or ice tea (boils in less than 10 mins)
  • sandwich maker - not worth it
  • electric griddle - worth it especially if you have a big family and like pancakes!
  • electric steamer - worth it
  • bread machine - worth it/we have 2!
  • toaster oven - only if you HAVE to/great for bacon tho
  • crock pots - WORTH IT!/we have 2 big & 2 minis
  • air popper - worth it/quicker than stove popped. 
  • electric juicer - not really, but I have mine still =)

We also have a dehydrator that I love and a coffee maker but wasn't sure if I should include them =)

Some that I haven't tried yet but want to are - rice cooker and ice cream maker. I'd also like to get another waffle maker, I really liked mine but it was just a cheap one so once it got waffle batter in the hinge it had to go =(

But the 3 kitchen appliances I would recommend as the most important are a mini chopper, a crock pot, and a coffee maker or electric tea kettle. With those 3 appliances you can get by without a stove if you had to -- even with a large family! I only had a mini chopper to use for about 1 year and let me tell you I made 2 ice cream buckets of ham salad by chopping EVERYTHING in that little thing! Yes it was hard, but you know what? Besides size the only difference between a mini chopper and a food processor is the shredding blade - which I can't seem to stop breaking on every food processor I've bought =(

I'm getting ready to buy my 4th one in the next week and it's only been about 2 years! And I still have the same mini chopper from 3 years ago - it's still just as sharp & as good as the day I bought it USED 3 years ago!! That's a good little chopper!

But anyway......... it'd be kinda cool to have a single burner so I could use my cast iron pan again instead of this cancer lined electric skillet! Got my fingers crossed =)


July 20, 2010

Fred is gone =(

Well today we had to do something that we knew was coming although we have put it off as long as we could. We had to surrender Fred to the local animal control.

Since moving into the new house we have certain rules we must follow for the community we live in. One of them is no large vicious dogs -- that's Fred to a T.

And in the past year or so he had become even more mean. He had growled at everyone in the house except for me at one time or another and it was usually while he was being petted. He had also taken to trying to break down the front door to get the mailman -- not good!

In the past couple months he had also started to mark his territory in the house. Problem was alot of other things got marked too! When he marked the bunk beds #1's amp also got it -- believe it or not #1 was brave enough to NOT cry but he sure wanted to! Then Fred marked the entertainment center -- and Darkside's DVDs!!! We lost 9 movies because of that -- thankfully they are all pretty easy to find DVDs.

And then there was the fact he NEVER would take a bath --- YUCK!!

When we moved here we figured SR would let us put him out there as he seemed to like Fred while we lived there. We figured that as soon as we moved again we'd taken him back unless SR threw a fit or something =) Well SR called this morning - Fred broke out of his pen again through the night because of the storms and was running loose - come get him now!

Ummm... ok! You can't just leave a mean attack dog to run loose when there are kids that are in your "neighborhood"! What if he would of bitten someone? GAWD! And this is after he did it on Sat. nite and we told him Fred was scared of storms (weird dog, huh? LOL).

So whatever! We went and picked him up -- he was sitting like a good doggy on the front steps -- and took him to the animal control and relinquished him and paid the fee necessary.

yes, I realize they will probably put him to sleep - but maybe not! and if so then that's the way it is, can't help it.

We rescued this dog 4 yrs ago from a lady on  the morgan co. freecycle list. She had rescued him from running loose in the projects (this is her story, idk?). She didn't want to keep him because he had nipped at her son. Within the 1st week Fred nipped at #4 and we punished him -- didn't have anymore problems with him till a year later. He then tried to nip at a friend's daughter, but she was doing the whole screaming & running thing too? But nothing after that till the past year and a half but it wasn't even a consistent problem. And as a family we had done so much changing that we were all cranky so we tried to overlook his crankiness. Overall I think he's a good dog just needs the right family and I'm not sure we were it =(

We all loved him so much but know he's now in a better place even if he is in doggy heaven.


July 19, 2010

#005 - sneaking out w/ Jamie

Just talking about this adventure get my heart racing! Let me explain...

My mom's very best friend in the whole world, Peggy, had a daughter who was my age - Jamie. Peggy & Jamie were the exact opposites of Mom & me. They had such personality, vibrancy, and attitude! The both of them was so crazy!

Sadly Peggy was murdered about 14 yrs ago. My heart aches every time I think of her and what the world is missing now that she's gone. I'll never forget the memories I have of her.

Sadly I haven't seen Jamie since 1997.

I have another memory of Jamie that I will HAVE to get typed up -- it's a must tell!


Ok! Now I'm ready =)

So Jamie invites me to spend the night at her & Peggy's new apartment. Honestly, I don't think she wanted me to spend the night but her Mom wanted me to and so she had to. It was just Jamie and you had to understand all of her to understand her quirks =)

She tells me after my Mom left that she planned to sneak out to go to her boyfriend's house that night -- WOW OK! I was all for it. You know what she tells me?


YEP! She tells me I can't go cause I'll be too slow, the cops will be able to spot me cause I'm too white, and cause she don't want to get caught. Well, la-te-da on you too Jamie! LOL! So I said whatever, I'll just stay here then =(

While talking to her boyfriend on the phone she tells him how I'm spending the night and he says GREAT my buddy's looking for a girlfriend. Once Jamie told him she's leaving me behind he told her NO bring her along. She got mad but said ok.

So she tells me each spot the floor creaked while Peggy was gone (at work maybe?). So later that night we decide and tell Peggy that we're gonna sleep in the living room, which she's ok with. I know she thought something was up but couldn't quite figure it out.

You know why? Cause I'm acting like nothing is going on - no big deal to me. Cause Jamie tells me her boyfriend only lives about a block north of her. This makes me think it's no big deal - heck I go outside and run all over Manchester all the time what's a block? 

If it was so easy!

So later that night we sneak out of the apartment and down the stairs (upstairs apartment). While going out I made the floor squeak and Jamie gave me crap about that as soon as we got outside. GREAT =(

(those who know J'ville -- this apartment was about 2 houses west of Douglas & Clay)

So we're walking west on Douglas -- I'm now bound and determined I'm not gonna get us caught & I'm gonna act as cool as Jamie does! We cross East street and I'm thinking WOW this is kinda far away -- HA!

I notice there's no more houses as far as I can see and so I ask Jamie "Where is it at?" She says "Oh it's a couple more blocks away."

NO WAY! I stop and tell her I'm going back cause she said it was only 1 block away. She tells me whatever! I knew you was a baby! Go back but if a cop sees you then you'll get arrested I won't!

OH BOY! I was scared then. Can't go, can't stay! So I figure I'll just go with her, she seems like she knows what she's doing. It can't be that bad.

So we're walking down Douglas like we're supposed to be -- it's like 2AM! Till we get to what I thought was the fire station. She dives in the bushes and tells me to HIDE! So I try to do the same as her -- umm not working LOL!

Then she gets up and says RUN! So I start running - we run all the way down till we hit Fayette then we slow down. We turn and head north and then take a left onto Duncan? and go west again. We go about 2 more blocks and then she says "we're here!"

I'm like OK? She says "be QUIET! his mom will hear you! come on." So we go around the house to the back and go into the basement through the outside door.

It's all dark and scary till we get into a large opening and then I see a couch and a small table with a light & a radio on it. Beside the couch is a guy (read: kid) and sitting on the couch is another guy (again: kid). As soon as Jamie gets close to the guy standing she kisses him -- well that clears that up LOL!

The guy on the couch though gets up and says "this is bogus! I'm leaving!" Jamie's boyfriend says "What?" and turns to look at me  and says "OH! D**N Jamie why didn't you say anything?!"

Jamie all smug says "What? You told me to bring her, so I did!" Her boyfriend says to his friend - "Just sit here it's no big deal, it can't be that bad." then he grabs Jamie's arm and drags her off to some where I can't see.

This whole time I'm standing scared and embarrassed to death because I'm thinking - jeez how fat & ugly am I that this dude is mad?? GAWD! I wanted to die!

The couch guy sits back down and tells me I can sit down if I want. So I sit and stare straight ahead - scared out of my mind and about to cry. Couch guy didn't say a word to me & I didn't to him either. About 10 mins later here comes Jamie & her boyfriend.

Jamie is mad and says lets go. So we leave.

Once outside I was so quiet that Jamie asked "what's wrong with you?" all hateful like. That's all I needed I start blubbering "why didn't he even want to talk to me? what's wrong with me? why did you do that to me Jamie??"

She started laughing at me!! OMG!!

I started to get mad and stopped crying. What an butt head!

Then as we were walking she told me why he did that and why we left. He did that because I was white - he didn't date white girls. I was SHOCKED! I couldn't believe it mattered what color a person was before you'd talk to someone. She then told me that's why she got mad and we left.

Because Jamie had a white Mom and a black Dad -- she is inter-racial. I sure hope that's the PC way to say it cause back then she said it TOTALLY different. She said she was mixed. I don't know - I say she's my friend & if anyone needed further clarification of WHO she was I just said her last name!

But ... back on track here! She said it pissed her off cause if he did want to talk to me then what was up with him wanting to talk to her? She's part white - what's that mean? Her boyfriend must of not said the right thing quick enough cause she got pissed and we left!

I was so happy! I wasn't ugly or fat!! YEA! But then I was sad - how could I change being white?

And then I remember what Jamie had said to me earlier that day about being too white to sneak out. So I asked her why did she say that to me when I can't help it I'm white and I did fine so far (by this time we was about to East street again). And she punched me in the arm and said "don't jinx us!"

JEEZ OK! it really hurt! Then she said "cause I was just giving you a hard time - of course you was going with me. what else would you of done, stay there? NO! plus it's different for me to say something like that - we're like family" awww! =)

By this time we'd made it to her porch and we sat on something there on the porch talking (swing, steps, something). About that time a car turned onto Douglas from Clay headed west. I was soooo scared cause it was a cop. I said what do we do Jamie???

She said s#!t that pig can't do anything we're on the porch! LOL!  OHHHHH! and he did drive on past.

I learned more than one thing that night! I'll never forget it - that's for sure =)


July 18, 2010

#004 - sneaking out w/ Marci

Sneaking out is NOT something that was popular in little ole Manchester, well at least not for me LOL! But one time when I was spending the night with my friend Marci she suggested that we should. (she lived in J'ville)

I asked "Why? Are we going to meet some guys?"
She said "NO! But it'll be fun!"

ummm... ok? but heck, what did I know?

See my cousin Robyn would sneak out all the time -- but she usually did to meet guys or go party. This all happened conveniently when I wasn't there. Wonder if it's cause I was a tattle-tail? =)

So back to me & Marci. I should share that this is only like the second time I've spent the night there -- still in the I'm-not-relaxed-in-this-house stage. And since I've never did the whole sneaking out thing I'm thinking we'll be just walking out one of the doors -- that's what Robyn did usually (or so she said!).

Marci swears we HAVE to wait till midnight or later or else it won't work.

About 11:30 she tells me to help her open the window (we're in her basement). WHAT??!!??!! I am not climbing out a basement window onto the ground! She must be nuts! And how will we get back in?

By this time I'm almost hyper-ventilating! My mind is going a million miles a minute.
(I know I was a weird child too!)

But someone was looking out for me ---  the window wasn't opening!! YEA!!

My little friend was determined though and she got that damn window open LOL! My heart just dropped to my toes. I was doomed! I just knew I was gonna screw this up in some way -or- some weird guy was gonna try kidnapping us or something.

So I barely get my fat butt out the window and manage to do it without making too much noise - she of course gets out no problem (like a pro *g*). It was chilly out although it was summer, I didn't think of that, great.

So I'm like what now? She says come on! We ended up running in and out of houses & backyards for what seemed like hours. A couple dogs barked but no light turned on. Then we stopped in one backyard with a clothes line. I'm not sure why but we ended up stealing a pair of shorts off that line.

We then ran some more and stopped in a different backyard. We was breathing hard and laughing -- of course all while trying to be quiet LOL! But in this backyard a light came on -- S#!T! So we dived for the bushes. The guy came out and looked around - maybe let out a dog? - then went back in and shut the light off.

WHEW! What a close one!

So we decide to head back - it had seemed like we were gone forever. We get back and the window is CLOSED!!!


So we sat and tried to think of what we would say -- now Marci was darn near hyper-ventilating! As we're sitting there we realize that there aren't any other lights on or any movement in the house. HEY - maybe we're not caught!

So we decide to chance it and go in anyway. GAWD was that awful! Knowing that any second her parents may walk  in the door and demand what was going on. Thankfully it didn't happen =)

Oh - we were only gone for like an hour or so LOL!!

I swore after that night I'd never sneak out again -- it wasn't worth it! Too much adrenaline for me!


As I sat writing this I realized that this is such a foggy memory that I may have the some of the details wrong. If I did I'm sorry but this is about as much as I can remember for now. But now at least I have it down  =)

I also realized that I lied! There was this one time that did sneak out with a girl named Jamie -- we did walk out her front door but her mom was there asleep. THAT time was the scariest time ever!! I was so lucky that we didn't get caught I would have been DEAD! I'll have to share that next time =)

Oh and there was the time Kim & I was gonna "sleep in her garage" but really planned to have boys in there with us LOL! How did we ever manage THAT one?? And this one too will have to be shared later =)

I'm smiling such a big goofy grin thinking of these memories. I love to reminisce!


July 15, 2010

my father was murdered about 24 yrs ago by 2 guys one of which was a good friend of his. the reason why they did it has never been clear although both said it was to do with them being high on drugs.

because of how they were caught and legal things the friend got 50 yrs murder, 20 yrs armed robbery and the other guy told 1st and got about 5 yrs robbery (i think?)

during my teenage years I wrote to the man who was in prison that had been a friend of my dads. from the very 1st letter he was apologetic and understanding of my questions.

since we're from a small town/close knit area I've always known different people who are relatives of these 2 men but there's never been an issue. (exact knowledge had never been known - like 2nd cousin, etc.) This was a pretty tragic event to ALOT of people in the community because of two reasons. One is because the area only had about 1 murder a year or every other year. The second was my dad was one of only a couple barbers in the area for almost 30 years so he personally knew many people.

a childhood friend of my husband's and a childhood friend of mine started going out about 5-6 yrs ago. about 4 years ago we started doing alot of things together - kinda like double dating LOL! our kids are all about the same age and get along pretty well so we did alot of family type things together.

although they moved and we moved we all seemed to still tried to find a way to be together. we've shared a few ups, but many downs together. it was so nice to have a set of people that you can feel so comfortable around!

within the first couple of months of us all being around each other my old friend talked to me when we were alone in the car after shopping about how the other man who killed my dad was her cousin. she revealed to me that she never did quite know what to say to me or my family because she felt as if she was just as guilty as he was because of her family connection. I reassured her there was no reason to feel like this - who can help what their family does? I let her know that I had never held it against her, nor I never would. She reassured me that she didn't have anything to do with him except at a family reunion and he usually didn't even show up for those. I figured it was a subject closed.

Last month my old friend's aunt died - it was this guys mom. That's when I found out that the aunt had children with one husband then remarried and (I assume) had more children. The man who murdered my dad was in the first set of children and NOT blood related to my friend but related by marriage. In fact he was 19 when his mother married into my friend's family.

My friend was very upset about her aunt dying and I attempted to console her while I was there but I wasn't sure on which aunt it was. When I went home I looked up in the local paper to see which aunt it was. This is when I found out about how she was related. I was torn because I wanted to make my friend feel better but I also felt mad.

I was mad because this woman in my opinion failed as a parent. Because she failed I had to grow up without a dad. But then again a parent can only do so much to raise their children then it becomes the child's responsibility to do the right thing. I felt seriously torn. In the end I felt I would do my friend more good by waiting till things calmed down before I visited again. I also thought it was best to stick with a "I'm sorry for your loss" statement if it came up. Because I was sorry for her to be in so much emotional pain - no one wants that for their friend.

In the weeks past this my old friend has added a few of these family members to her facebook. Each time it stunned me a little bit to see the family name but it's not like it's their faults or my friend's fault. A name after all is just a name, right?

Since all last week we had been moving and busy trying to put our house back in order I hadn't had alot of time on facebook. Plus quite honestly I'm a noisy person LOL! About once a week I go through and look at different friends' profiles to see what they've been up to -- all things aren't posed on your wall so sometimes something may happen and you'll never know. but anyway......

I went on Friday night to look and was shocked when I seen that my old friend was now friends with this cousin who murdered my dad.

I sat scared for about 5 mins --- I was scared to pop up his profile to see if it could be him. Because surely my friend wouldn't have done this to me --- maybe it's his son? nephew? a coincidence?

No. It was him.

And to top it off no one else from her side of the family is friends with him. In fact he don't many friends at all. This leads me to believe she must of looked him up to add him.

ummm, ok.

as I sit there and this is all sinking in (after I told Darkside, of course) I started getting mad. really mad. and hurt.

I could not believe someone who is supposed to be my friend would knowingly do this to me. I never before in my life even thought someone I knew would willingly want to be around these 2 men if they knew what they had done. I don't believe I'm being naive in thinking this either. I know I wouldn't knowingly associate with a murderer.

As I sat there I realized that the only way someone would do this (if they knew the history like she did) is if they no longer cared about me and therefore no longer wanted to be my friend. Because a true friend wouldn't do this -- hell I have enemies nicer than this!

So I decided then and there that she was no longer a friend of mine. So I went through and deleted all posts that we had done on each other's profiles, pictures, and all messages we had shared. I also deleted her as a friend. Darkside did the same thing. The next day when I shared this with my kids and brother they also did the same thing.

Because I had added 2 of her kids on my facebook I also deleted them. It would be wrong for me to continue to be friends of theirs when that's their mom. Until they are old enough to make their own decisions she is supposed to do that and she had made hers.

This was on Friday night -- more than likely early Saturday morning (7-9/10).

On Wednesday her husband came over to talk (7-14). I was going to have Darkside handle all of this because it upsets me too much - he was at work. I figured I would be able to handle it so I decided to just tell him myself.

I ended up getting through part of it without crying but I just couldn't do it. Who would think that a friend's actions could cut so deep that even days later it's still so raw? But I pulled myself together enough to finish what I had to say except for the hardest part of all and that's when I broke down again.

I told him that I didn't want any of them back over here because I can't deal with being around her. I can't stand to be around someone who disregards life and people's feeling so much.

It hurt me so much because I loved each of them so much although they are just friends. To me friends are supposed to be like family and that's the way I felt towards them. But there is just no going back on something like this.

Later that day she sent me a message on facebook. When I seen the little message icon light up and say 1 - I knew it was her. Just in case I popped it down and yes it said her and I seen without trying the first few words were I'm sorry.

I got up from the desk and told Darkside to read it and then tell me briefly what it said. So he did. In it she apologized and said she didn't think but she should of talk to me 1st then maybe she wouldn't have done it. But she looked at things differently than most people.

REALLY??!! And how is that? There is no other way to look at it! He is and always will be a murderer - NOTHING will change that. What because he "turned to God" then he's an ok person? A God and a church which you don't align yourself with?

So if every murderer or child molester does that then it's ok? Your one of the people who passes around petitions on facebook about groups or causes that condemns child molesters or child abusers -- what if they ask for forgiveness to their God? then are they ok?

And if repenting and asking for forgiveness is all a person needs to do to be OK in your book then why do you refuse to believe others can't have this same wiping of the slate?

Oh but it only works when YOU want it to. NO. that's not how life works and not how decent people treat one another.
No I didn't read the message - I had Darkside delete for me. I don't want something that may have been said in one way be taken by me wrong because I'm so upset over this. Kinda like above. The message may or may not have been worded that way because all I'm going on is what Darkside has said but you know what? I still had to say what I wanted to say as a response -- just in case -- this was said.

I don't want to be sitting tonight or even years from now hashing over the wording --- but I would if I had read it. I am that kind of person. To me every little action, word, look, whatever means so much in what a person is really thinking but..........always a butt!.........it also depends on how you read it too.

yea I know I'm weird, and?
it's me get over it! =)

I don't know, I really don't.
I hate drama and all that it includes.
But this is something I cannot and will not forgive.
I can not overlook such a blatant hurtful move.
So I guess this is just the way it will be *sigh*

I've also decided since this has happened that instead of trying to be near J'ville when we move it will be further away I have no use for this town. And it's not a "we're not sure when" kind of move anymore -- we will be moving definitely and will be gone before April 1, 2011.


July 11, 2010

moved, again!

this title has probably been used WAY too much on this blog in the past 2 years! LOL! And this won't be the last time either.

We've bought a new home and once again are home owners. yea. NOT! I have more restrictions in my new house than any I've been in since 2005. And one thing I hate most is for someone to tell me I CAN'T do something!

But next spring we'll move on again, thankfully. Our plans haven't changed same goal -- live in the country.

Most recently we've set our sights on southern IL because land is cheap there. At least it'll be close to home and in the same area that we're used to. I like black to brown dirt, gentle rolling hills, trees, winter & summer, and ground water within 50' under where you stand. Hopefully all within 3 miles of a town with a gas station, nice library, and a grocery store (added bonus for auto parts, lumber, and building supplies stores!)

Weird requirements I know but, that's me =)

but we're all settled in for the most part and just chugging along in life. here's some updates -

  • Fred (the dog) isn't here anymore but a new dog is a possibility
  • the snapping turtle has been released out at a local lake
  • we are now up to 20 hamsters -- hopefully we will be able to adopt out the newest ones soon
  • the little container garden is doing ok but not spectacular
  • the garden out at SR's is doing pretty good! going to harvest some sweet corn & potatoes soon =)
  • Darkside is back driving thankfully!
  • #2 went to camp a month ago and loved it!
  • She also had a birthday and turned the big 14 =)
  • #3 will be going to camp in the next 2 weeks -- he's so excited!
  • we will be taking #1 to apply for a job tomorrow -- I hope he has luck
I think I've pressured myself into not writing here because of the goal I set earlier this year. So I'm not going to follow it. Same with the excercise goal I had set. When I want to do either thing I just will. I'm just so anti-goal it doesn't work for me. I know I'm I weirdo.......

But hopefully I'll get to write here more now. I really do miss it.

well till then......



The audacity of some people just shocks me on a normal day but recently I was astounded!

The whole story on a boring day would be complicated and drama filled. Plus, I'm not ready to put what I need to say into words for the world to see.

But in the mean time.............